My Idols

Who is my idol? It is a common question asked many times during a persons life and up until recently I usually answered without even a second thought to it. Usually my idol was the same as everyone else's.

Ellen DeGeneres because she is extremely funny and gives away the best stuff on her show.

My Mom because she's my mom.

Cher because she has the best costumes during her performances and she was the first concert I ever went too.

One of my idol remains the same but the reason behind why she is my idol definitely has a deeper reason. The following are my Idols:

1. My Mom
She is incredible and not just because I spent 9 months in her stomach kicking her every chance I got. My mom worked full time when we were growing up. She was a police officer with the Calgary Police Service and she juggled three kids. My dad worked away a lot when we were kids so it was pretty much just us and my mom. My mom volunteers more then any other person I know which is great. Ever since I can remember she has been coaching community basketball and she continues to be part of that today being the President of Calgary Minor Basketball. These are all jobs where she has received no cheque in the mail for her services. My mom continues to put herself ahead of others and has always been the most loyal friend to someone. She will always go out of her way to help someone in need. Its this selflessness that really makes me appreciate the mom I have.

2.  My Grandma 

Another extreme cliche but nonetheless one of the most important people that I have ever had in my life. When I was in grade 8 my Grandmother passed away but that did not change the impact she had on my life. My grandmother raised 7 kids all while her husband spent a lot of time away at work. She attended Springbank United Church every Sunday that she was home up until her passing. She volunteered everywhere she could be it the church, Springbank Park for All Seasons, and the Springbank schools where her kids attended. Just before her death in December  2001 she was awarded the Governor's General Award for her volunteering.  My Grandmother was like my second mom and I spent most of childhood over there learning how to bake cookies and cakes and to play a mean game of "Rummy". I can only hope to be half the woman my grandmother was. I look up to her and appreciate everything that she has taught me. (She's in the middle of the photo) 

3. There are many other people that I look up to in my life and that I attribute who I am today because of them. My idols are no longer people who are beautiful and funny. It comes down to what they have taught me about life and how they have lived their life. I am thankful to my two idols and I love them very much. Without them I would not be the person I am today. 

Facing and Fighting Addiction

Addiction is something that plagues many people in today's society. Addictions are a mood altering substances that lead to different types of behaviours. The most common addictions include alcohol, drugs (illegal or pharmaceutical), smoking and gambling.

Canada provides services for people who are living with and/or are faced with addictions. The Centre for Addiction and Mental Health  offers to help to people who are unable to help themselves within an addiction setting.

When I was in high school we raised money for AARC, which is the Alberta Adolescent Recovery Centre. We had a few kids that I graduated with attend this program to help them graduate clean and sober. A lot of the councillors that are located at AARC actually attended the program itself so it makes everything that much more real for the adolescents that have the benefit of going here. Its tag line is "Helping Teens reach their Twenties" which becomes all too real for these kids. Most of the people I know that have attended AARC have been clean and sober since.

I have never personally been faced with an addiction unless you count the amount of times a week I consume "Salt and Vinegar" chips an addiction.  I do know people close to me in my family that have struggled with alcohol abuse and Alcoholism.
According to the Canadian Addiction Survey 

• Nearly 80% of Canadians aged 15 years and older drink, but most drink in moderation and without hard. 
• 17% of past-year drinkers are considered high-risk drinkers according to the World Health Organizations Alchohol Use Disorders Identification Test (AUDIT)
• High-risk drinkers are predominantly males and those under the age of 25. 

Addictions are challenging and most of the time cannot be faced alone. In Calgary alone there are many different services for people who face addiction whether they are 14-years-old all the way to 100. AADAC is a common service that many people would recognize. Addiction is an awful thing and can lead to lost friends, family and even life. It is not something to be taken lightly but thankfully there are many different services that can help.  

Alcoholism

Attribute this work to: wolfgangwendenig

Alcoholism is defined as a physical addiction to alcohol, which may control an individual's relationships and life. Drinking alcoholically may negatively affect a person's physical and mental health, as well as family, social, and job responsibilities. The factor that separates an alcoholic from a person who abuses alcohol is the inability to stop regardless of the repercussions.

Alcoholism is a debilitative disease that people can be unaware of. Some symptoms of alcoholism are:

• Violence when drinking
• Try to hide alcohol use
• Drink alone
• Continue to drink, even when job, health, and family are being harmed
• Make excuses to drink
• Memory lapses after heavy drinking
• Miss work or school because of drinking

Alcoholism is prevalent in today's society, but there are programs and support groups that can help an alcoholic to recover. Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) is an example of one of the many support groups. It is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from alcoholism. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. AA offers a 12 Step program to its members. Another approach to recovery from alcoholism is a treatment program. Hazelden is one of many treatment programs around the world. It is a drug and alcohol treatment program that has facilities across the United States of America, and is built on transforming people's lives.

Attribute this work to: Sun rise over the Helford River by Graham Loveland

Treatment Centres

• Hazelden
• Aventa
• 1835 House

Support Groups

• Alcoholics Anonymous
• AL-ANON
• Smart Recovery

  

Saving Money: Financial Security and Success

Attribute this work to: Razor512

When I was younger my parents always told me to put a portion of every pay cheque into my savings account, but at that point in my life I thought that their idea didn't sound like a very good one. All I could see was that by putting money away into my savings I would have less money to spend, and now six years down the road I have very little to show for all my hard work. I have begun to see the value of what they stressed to me so long ago.

Step 1: The Problem

Saving money can be a challenge. When I get a pay cheque I become very aware of my needs and wants, but I am not always aware of the amount of money I have in the bank, or how much I am spending. I blindly spend, and don't pay attention to where my money goes. Reflecting on my past jobs, and how much time I have spent working I can't account for where all my money has gone. Frivolous spending is irresponsible.

Step 2: Solution

Steps to saving money:

• Know how much you make and how much you spend.
• Save first, spend later: Automatic Savings Plan.
• Understanding compound interest.
• Start saving sooner than later.
• Something is better than nothing.
• Stay disciplined, be aware, and get rich.

Step 3: How I Started Saving

1. Calculated how much money I made a month, and subtracted my cost of living from that amount (ex. food, housing, gas).
2. After my cost of living was accounted for I realized I had money left over. I went to the bank and discussed my options with an account representative.
3. The account representative set me up with an RRSP and a Tax Free Savings Account. Each month money is automatically taken out of the account and evenly distributed into these savings accounts.  

Other Savings Accounts:

• Mutual Funds
• GIC

Attribute this work to: Johanna Hardell

I was never focused on saving money, but I now believe that the sooner you begin to save the more financial stability you will have in the end. Being smart and aware of your money will set you up for financial success.

What Do I Want To Be When I Grow Up?

A career is defined as person's course or progress through life, or an individual's job or professional position. Throughout my life, from elementary school to university, I have been extremely aware of the ever important question "What do you want to be when you grow up?" I find myself asking the same question to this day. How will I know what type of career will be the best fit for me? Do I have what it takes to be successful in a particular industry? Today I still don't know the exact career path I hope to pursue. Every day I discover new skills, and gain more knowledge causing me to ask myself, "Is this the right career for my future?"

Attribute this work to: Cerne Abbas: path through field at St. Catherine’s Hill by Chris Downer

When I was little I wanted to be a dancer and a cowgirl, but as I got older I learned to look at the world in a more practical, and acceptable way. I found myself telling people that I wanted to be a lawyer, a business woman, or a doctor. The pressure, time, and involvement that comes along with deciding on a career path is substantial. Every day I hope that I am making the right choices for my future. I find myself wondering if the career decisions I make are solely for me, or in response to societal pressures.

I think that many people struggle to figure out the direction they would like to take, and here are some career and personality quizzes that might help to focus your sights:

• Personality Test: Based on Myers Briggs Test
• Job Diagnosis
• Career Aptitude Test
• Career Test

Attribute this work to: spontaneousdevelopment

I have chosen to get a degree in business, and this area of study has many different types of jobs under its umbrella. Accounting, human resources, and management are just a few of the career options available. I found an interesting Career Key Map that clusters different jobs together based on your career path, and areas of interest.

Music, Emotions, and Memory: Article Review

Attribute this work: photosteve101

Do certain songs bring back specific memories and emotions in relation to past experiences? Do you listen to different genres of music based on the way you are feeling? Music is expressive, and can elicit different emotions. It plays a large role in everyday life, and can act as a connector to past actions and events.

I reflected on how influential music has been in my life. I grew up listening to classical music, and singing campfire songs with my family. I sang in a choir for many years, and have been a supporter of the live music scene in Calgary. Currently I play music to enhance my emotions, for enjoyment, and to bring back past feelings or a memory. I have always wondered how music has the ability to evoke emotion, and remain a conduit for memories.

Music and Emotion

The New York Times article, 'To Tug Hearts, Music First Must Tickle the Neurons' takes a look at how scientists are trying to understand and quantify what makes music expressive. It was found that the area of the brain that is stimulated by music is also the same area that stimulates the emotion of empathy. The human brain understands music as not only an emotional aberration, but as an action. It was discovered that emotional evocation from music is related to a change in the musical patterns. The studies show that emotions are influenced differently as a result of the timing, length and volume of musical notes, the element of surprise in a song, and whether or not an individual had past experience playing an instrument. By increasing their knowledge of how the brain works it could be observed that music plays an important role in human development, communication, cognition, and therapeutic endeavors.

Attribute this work: photosteve101

Music and Memory

Music has the ability to bring about certain memories or feelings attached to experiences. It has been shown that music connects to a specific area of the brain, 'Music is also processed by the lower, sensory levels of the brain, making it impervious to later memory distortions. Therefore creating a strong connection between emotion and music within memory makes it easier to recall one when prompted by the other.' Essentially the brain stores the music with its attached memory, and when the brain is reminded of the memory or hears the music attached to a memory it is recalled.

The variation of tone, and timing in music effects the brain and plays a role in the emotional relationship between the music and the listener. While the memories connected to music are stored in a protected area of the brain. I have created many memories while listening to music, and played many songs to mimic my feelings. I now have a greater insight as to what is happening in my brain when I listen to music.

Venues in Calgary to go check out live music and make some new memories...

• Jack Singer Concert Hall: Calgary Philharmonic Orchestra
• The Blues Can
• Palamino

The New Paddle Boarding Craze

Paddle boarding has become one of the newest and most popular fitness trends of today, featured in popular fitness magazines like Shape .

Photo by Public Domain Image

What many people don’t know about paddle boarding is that it actually originated in the 1930’s with Hawaiian heritage. Paddle boarding is considered a surface water sport, and the most popular version we see now is an individual standing on a paddle board known as “stand up paddling” or SUP. Here you stand on top of the paddle board and push yourself through the water with a long paddle that can reach the ocean from your standing position.

Stand up paddling offers the following benefits:

•       Lowers blood pressure
•       Improves cholesterol
•       “Aqua therapy” from the water
•       Low impact on joints
•       Improves balance
•       Improves core strength
•       Increases confidence and sense of achievement

The main thing that has attracted me to SUP is that it just looks graceful and relaxing. Seeing these pictures of people standing on boards in the middle of a large body of water, I couldn’t imagine anything more serene. I am definitely hoping to give SUP a try this summer on my trip to Thailand and I’ll let you know how it goes. Where is the best place to SUP? Have any fellow Calgarians had the opportunity to try SUP? How did it go?

For some reasons as to why you should try paddle boarding check out this website. 

For tips on how to paddle board check out this video.

Get Sweating

What is hot yoga? What can I expect from my first attempt at hot yoga?

  

Hot yoga, also known as bikram yoga, can be defined as: "a form of yoga in which traditional exercises are preformed at high temperature and humidity.” The temperature for hot yoga is usually between 35 and 40 degrees Celsius. 

Photo by Andrew Kalet

Hot yoga has become increasingly popular, and is now one of the most “trendy” fitness activities of the moment. Women (mostly) dressed in full lululemon get up go absolutely gaga for hot yoga, preaching the benefits of hot yoga to anyone and everyone who will listen.

I am not writing this post to mock these women; I myself am one of these women. I love hot yoga; I love everything about how it makes me feel, what I do not love is the price tag that comes along with the dedication.

My understanding is that most people who have not tried hot yoga are wary to do so. This blog serves to inform you of what you can expect when engaging in the practice of hot yoga. I am no expert myself, I have gone to only about 10 classes (because on the budget of a student it is out of my price range) but I want to continue going as often as I can.

Ok, so here it is. The list of expectations for your first hot yoga class:

1.  SWEAT! No joke, you will leave the class absolutely soaked in your own sweat. Make sure you bring a change of clothes to your hot yoga class, as well as a towel to take a shower immediately after your class has ended. Your body temperature will cool immediately after exiting the studio so it is nice to be able to take a quick shower.

2

Photo by Photozou

. Don't push yourself! Like any athletic endeavor, getting better at your yoga practice takes time and effort. People look at most yoga poses and expect that they should be able to master these poses right out of the gates. You’re wrong. If it were easy, it wouldn’t be a great workout. My boyfriend fell victim to this in his first class. He wasn’t willing to swallow his ego and take a rest and about half way through the class he felt so light headed he had to leave the room because he felt like he was about to pass out. I laughed secretly to myself about finally finding something athletic that I could beat him at.

3. You will get better! This goes hand in hand with the above point… don’t push yourself too hard, because you will get better and notice improvements regularly. The learning curve for hot yoga is quick, after only a few practices I noticed huge improvement in my ability. This is the same for many others I spoke to who are just starting out as hot yogis.

4.  Take yoga as a “religion” lightly! Some classes emphasize the spirituality of yoga so much that beginners get scared off. There is something so spooky about how serious some yogi’s take their practice. Take everything as lightly or as intensely as you want. Don’t think that just because you are practicing hot yoga you now need to live and breathe it as a philosophy, simply go, enjoy yourself, and get a great workout.

I hope these 4 tips were helpful. I am only writing them because I want those who are uncomfortable with trying hot yoga to be able to reap the benefits. Gook luck beginner hot yogis…

Namaste

Destiny: does it exist?

Photo credits: Flickr

I have been thinking about the future a lot lately because it just struck me that I only have two more years left till I graduate and have my degree, then with which I will have to make the most out of my life. Other things have started crossing my mind like marriage, relationships, wealth, (even turning 20 years old this year!), and other societal topics that seem to be leading me into sleepless nights every once in a while. Is there something already laid out for us? A future that we don't know of?

Photo credits: Multiply

All these small questions lead to one major question: Is destiny real?

Personally, I believe in destiny and the quote:

"Everything Happens for a Reason"

This is probably also because I am a religious person who believes in ceremonies and obviously God. But if we look at things with a more scientific approach, maybe we can gather evidence to justify our conclusions about whether or not fate is realistic or not.

To begin, we must not forget that consequences are a direct result of action. For example, if a person steals, they will end up in jail and be regarded as a criminal. This is not something that was "destined", but rather it is a learning phase of their life that will lead them to bigger and better things in the future. Similarly, if a person studies then they will get good grades. A person does not automatically become blessed with As or A+s, rather they work hard for it.
The conclusion here is that even though destiny might exist, all situations cannot be blamed on our fate as most people believe. In order to reach those positive things written in your destiny, you are supposed to work towards it, to achieve it faster instead of waiting for some miracle to happen in your life.

Also, some people deem to believe that others are more blessed than them because of 'destiny' again. This is a misconception that exists in our society vastly because people are lazy and give up very easily. While a slacker was probably playing video games, it is possible that the successful person was applying for jobs and placing themselves out in the world.

On the whole, destiny is commonly used as a mask for people's shortcomings. They must instead learn to take it as a climbing ladder and believe that if they are going through a bad phase, it is for some reason, and that they must try recovering and reining back on their life in order to gain the success that is held for them in the future.

How being an athlete has changed my life

I have been a female athlete all my life. I started off just like any other kid playing some sort of sport that required 30 minutes of running around and 30 minutes of “snack time”. The sport that I really took a liking to was basketball probably because my mom had been playing it her whole life and I grew up watching her play. At age 6 I got put on my first basketball team and I could not have been happier. I met my first best friend playing basketball and we are still friends to this day.

As I got older basketball became a little bit more competitive and not as much running around, laughing and joking. We wanted to win every game and we worked hard to do it. My dream as a child was to be the first female basketball player in the NBA.

In high school I tried out for the Alberta Provincial Team and for the first time ever I was cut from a basketball team. I was devastated. I went through a time where I thought I wasn’t good enough. This was different from the guys I knew who got cut and thought of it as a time to, “show them.” They wanted to get better while I never wanted to play again. That soon wore off after that beginning of summer season and I was working harder than ever.

In my high school career I won 1 “Rookie of the Year” award in grade 11, 1 MVP award in grade 10, All-Star of the league in grade 9, 10, 11 and 12 and finally MVP in grade 12. I had won countless MVPs of tournaments and All-Star awards by the end of my career in high school.

I made the decision to play college basketball after I graduated and I moved up to Camrose, AB to play for Augustana, which was a school in the ACAC (Alberta College Athletic Conference). My first year was difficult as I wound up with an ankle injury and then I had mono for the rest of my season. I went from a team in high school that got 2^nd in provincials two years in a row to being on a team that got third last in the conference. That year was the hardest year of my life when it came to basketball. I wanted to play but I was stuck with either an injury or an illness. I lost a lot of muscle that year as well as my skill for the game and it took me a couple months to get it back. I decided after a huge amount of conflicting thoughts to move back to Calgary to attend SAIT. 

This was a completely different experience. I went from being one of the better players on my team at Augustana to warming the bench at SAIT. A number of times I wanted to walk off the team because I did not think I deserved it. I knew I was better then a few of the players that were getting playing time over me. I decided to stay however and improve my game and I had a lot of fun with the girls I played with. The coach and I did not see eye to eye on a lot of things and it was not until the last game that he admitted to me while the rest of the team listened in, that he should have been playing me more and that I was one of his stronger players. I learned a lot that year in regards to how to handle rejection and how to not take things personally.

After that year I decided that I wanted to focus on school and start coaching basketball more in the community. I wound up playing for a few months with St. Mary’s University College in Calgary, which is in the ACAL. This league was not very strong and although I played well and was one of the best players in the league it was not up to my competitive standards. That year was a year of learning and teaching for me. I was more of a player coach and helped the girls on my team improve. I only lasted a year and have since continued to play in recreational leagues as well as co-ed leagues, which is extremely fun.

Playing basketball at such a competitive level has made me a better person as well as a player. I now coach basketball and take everything I have learned both from good seasons and bad and pass it onto my players. I also think of myself as a mentor to the girls I coach and I take more pride in my coaching then I ever did my playing.

As an athlete I learned so many things about myself and I am so glad that I played a competitive sport growing up. I made life long friends as well as life long lessons. I make goals for myself and I hold myself accountable. I am disciplined and my time management is exceptional because of playing post secondary.  To be an athlete takes dedication and the amount of time I spent in a gym I will never get back. I do not regret the years I spent in the gym working on my shot and learning how to dribble. Out of all the things I have done in my life I have to say that being an athlete outweighs anything in regards to helping me be successful in my life. I will always be an athlete and will continue to play basketball as long as my body allows for it. I love the sport and I love where it has taken me.

Bulimia and Anorexia

High school was the first place I actually found out what exactly it was to be bulimic and anorexic after being called anorexic myself. We learned about it in CALM class and even then it was barely touched on. I was called anorexic by a classmate who said, “I was so skinny it was disgusting.” In today’s society it is still a huge issue as the youth struggle with the demands to look a certain way.

I look at young girls and what magazines and media have done to make them view themselves as “too big” and not “skinny” enough. The pressure to be thin in society is huge and continues to grow. Even women who are already extremely skinny continue to view themselves as not skinny “enough”. 

Anorexia nervosa is an eating disorder. The most common signs of people who are anorexic are people not eating and over exercising. People that are anorexic have a severe fear of gaining weight.

As a female there is an extreme amount of pressure to be skinny. It is everywhere, in every ad, on every TV show. The Victoria’s Secret fashion show is just one example of the pressure to be skinny because “skinny is beautiful”. All of these aspects contribute to the pressure of being thin which leads to some girls becoming anorexic. 

Bulimia is also a huge part of become skinny and affects many teens as well as adults. In this Zoolander scene, Derek Zoolander makes fun of the fact that Melinda faced the problem of being bulimic saying that models do it all the time to “loose a couple pounds before the show”. Bulimia is the act of binge eating (consuming mass amounts of food) and then throwing it up later. It is similar to anorexia in that the person has a severe fear of weight gain or just does not feel good in his or her body. Bulimia is a dangerous disorder and can lead to many more health problems if it is not stopped. 

Most people who are Bulimic or Anorexic are usually women because of the extreme amount of pressure to be skinny however men and young boys are starting to be faced with the same amount of pressure.

My cousin growing up was extremely overweight weighing over 250 pounds and only being 5’5. She was a bulimic all through high school and up until her second year of university where she was training to become a nurse. It was a health scare of pancreatic failure that caused her to stop and re-evaluate what she was doing. At that point in her life she weighed 110 pounds. Thankfully she was in the healthcare profession or things may have turned out different for her. It was the continued ridicule from classmates as well as images all around her that he made her feel like she needed to lose that extreme amount of weight. Instead of eating healthier and exercising regularly she found it easier to just throw up the food she was consuming. 

It’s scary to think that this is happening everywhere and to a lot of different girls who do not feel like they are beautiful the way they are. Body image is such a huge part of North American society and we base beauty on how people look rather than who they are.

Building your Confidence

Photo credits: Dr. Annette Colby

Everyone is aware of how important it is to feel confident throughout your life and in everything you do. Confidence is something that shows on our faces, through our body language, and in our speech. The satisfaction of feeling confident is indescribable; it is when you know that you can accomplish anything and everything and that nothing is bigger or better than you for not to achieve it.

Photo credit: Big Happy Funhouse

I was recently thinking about how to build my confidence because as a University student now, I should be as comfortable I can be with all the diverse types of scenarios that can come across in my life. Examples include job interviews, presentations, debates and overall speaking out loud in general! After thinking and analyzing, I discovered one fact (or tip) in order to help feel confident in any situation possible and that is that one needs to master in only one area of comfort: Public speaking.

Ever since I found this, I knew instantly that this is what causes the most unease to people during an interaction and is the reason why people ultimately feel less confident. Considering this, I decided to enroll into a GNED course: Introduction to Public Speaking (SPCH 2001) and build upon my confidence while speaking with others in any situation.
I would like to share what I have learnt from that course here today so that we can all be confident together! Let us start:

• First and foremost, a person's posture while they speak is very important. Slouching, folding your hands, and fidgeting are common signs of unease and should be avoided. Instead, stay relaxed with your arms to your side and try maintaining a firm stance.
• Second, eye contact is an immediate determinant of confidence level. Do not force yourself to look into someone's face (that is very noticeable!) but just occasionally remember to connect with your audience while talking to let them know that you are active during your conversation.
• Third, tone of voice should be clear and loud enough to be audible to your listener without them constantly leaning in to hear or repeating 'pardon' after every sentence. The tone of voice also symbolizes power and thus it should always be leveled. 

Those were some effective tips to help you feel and look confident while speaking in public. I hope they will help and enable you to become a more successful public speaker and never ( this will happen gradually!) experience unease during your everyday interactions.

What Do You Want To Do Before You Die?

Photo Courtesy: Fantasia Salon

An important part in being happy is making sure you have done something in your life that is worthwhile. So many people live their lives as a subconscious schedule of waking up, going to work, buying groceries, coming home, making dinner, watching some TV, sleeping, and starting the day all over again.

Getting lost in the daily routine is probably why so many adults go through a midlife crisis. They realize that what their life is today is all it’ll ever be and that scares a lot of people.

Photo Courtesy: Liken365

There is this show on MTV called The Buried Life, which I suggest you check out! It's about these 4 guys who got together and made up a list of 100 things they want to do before they die. In this show they go around North America and cross things off of their list. It's a great show because a lot of the things they do seem impossible and yet they always pull it off! Not only have they got into a party at the Playboy Mansion, but one of them even went on a date with Taylor Swift, and they were able to play ball with the Barack Obama!!

Photo Courtesy: MTV

While they travel and cross things off their own list, they also help others achieve their goals and dreams such as buying computers for a school, or reuniting families. This show inspires so many, including myself and so I decided to write my own list. 

I haven't gotten to 100 yet, but I have been able to cross some things off my list and the feeling you get when you can do that is so satisfying! I have noticed three things in starting my Life List:

I. It makes you notice the little things in life:

Number 5 on my list is: Bike up the 'Hill of Death.' This is a steep hill by my house that I would never fully be able to bike up. Once I put it on my list though, I knew I had to do it. I think that by putting it on my list, I gave myself more satisfaciton of completing my goal. If I hadn't made this as a goal for myself I either would never have biked up the hill or I just wouldn't really take as much notice to it if I did. 

II. It makes you appreciate everything that you have achieved in life:

Here are a few things I have already accomplished:

                      12. Watch the sunset on the West Coast Beach

                      36. Make ultimate wish on 11/11/11, 11:11AM

                      53. Drink green beer

Right now these are not very significant things, but I do feel like I appreciate them more because I made an effort to accomplish them after I had written them down. Things like this make you not take anything for granted and enjoy what you have done.

III. It helps you set up goals for the future: I have a few things on my list that I want to accomplish in both Africa and Asia and because of those dreams, I set up goals for myself to save money so I can go to these places and accomplish what I want.

I think that making a life list makes life more exciting because you know what you want to do and can plan around that and also you can look back at the things you have done and smile at the memories. 

I would definitely encourage everyone to start their own life list. Don't just think about big dreams, but think of small random stuff too. So that while you are busy with work and your everyday life you won't be pouting over the fact that you haven't achieved anything and are able to appreciate every moment in your life! 

Jealousy: The Green Headed Monster

Jealousy comes in all forms, whether it accompanies sibiling rivalry or the fear that your partner is being unfaithful, it can be a hard emotion to keep in check. In small doses I believe that jealousy is a part of human nature. I think it accompanies normal fears. Jealousy has a way of progressing from a normal emotion to an irrationaly driven fear. 

flickr: tears by megyarsh, found/used by teri lynne underwood  

The main place in my life where jealousy has reared it's ugly head are in my relationships. I couldn't recognize my feelings of insecurity and the loss of my sense of control. I found myself feeling fearful,acting aggresively, and being very overbearring. My actions were not very appelaing and were indicative of the feelings of helplessness that I was experiencing. Before I could make any changes I had to recognize that my actions and emotions were being fuelled by my feelings of jealousy.

Wikipedia states that, “Jealousy is a secondary emotion and typically refers to the negative thoughts and feelings of insecurity, fear, and anxiety over an anticipated loss of something that the person values, particularly in reference to a human connection. Jealousy often consists of a combination of presenting emotions such as anger, sadness, and disgust. It is not to be confused with envy. Jealousy is a familiar experience in human relationships. It has been observed in infants five months and older. Some claim that jealousy is seen in every culture; however, others claim jealousy is a culture-specific phenomenon.”

I have always been afraid that the person I am in a relationship will leave me. It stems from my own insecurites and has the power to make me an irrational member of a relationship. Jealousy is an overwhelming emotion and without help it really does work against you. I would find myself trying to control who my partner spent time with and  berate them with questions about other woman. When I reflect on my behaviour I can see now that I had no right to behave in that way. I was reacting in an unfair manner. The fear of losing control and having my partner leave me stemmed from within myself and coexisted with my lack of self worth and low self esteem.

Attribute Wall Art to Vanhercke Christiaan

How to get over jealousy within a relationship...

1)It is important to have your own seperate interests and partake in activities that you enjoy, try a new hobby.

2) Take time for yourself. Recognize that you are your own person and don't rely on the person you are in a relationship with.

3) Try to account for the good qualities that your partner has.

4) Stop snooping, reading text messages or emails, or spying. Privacy is important.

5)Reflect on where your feelings of jealousy are coming from. Awareness is key in working on the issue. Write in a journal.

6)Start to be honest about your feelings of jealousy, talk to both a friend and your partner. Input from an outside source can be beneficial

Helpful Resources on Jealousy:

• How To Have A Great Relationship: 96 Tips For Turning A Healthy Relationship Into The Perfect Relationship
• Romantic Jealousy: Causes, Symptoms, Cures
• If This Is Love Why Do I Feel So Insecure?

The Gifts of Giving Back

Personal development involves doing something different than you have done in the past. Helping or being of service to another person can change the way you live and veiw the world around you.

How it all started...

Attribute christmas gifts to christmasstockimages.com 

I spent a lot of time thinking about where I saw myself in the future, the job I would have, the apartment I would rent, and so on. I was constantly planning out how I might reach these imagined goals, but I never gave thought to much else. I was alwasy looking straight ahead, and focusing on my life path when I realized that I didn't feel fulfilled. I asked myself when and if I reached all of my goals would I then feel fulfilled?

The Change...

I haven't always had a carefree life, but I have had opportuinites that some people go with without. When I took a look at my life I realized that most of the time I thought about myself, and I wanted that to change. The medicine for a self propelled and selfish life is to do unselfish acts. Giving back in any form is acting in a selfless way. I made the decision to volunteer.

The Gifts of Giving Back...

I started my volunteering journey at the Mustard Seed helping with food preparation. I then got involved with the Read with Me program at the Calgary Public Library. The library has a variety of volunteering opportunites available. I contacted the program coordiantor and went through an interview process as well as training. I was then paired with a seven year old child who is just learning how to speak english. I meet with her once a week for an hour and we read together. It has been a wonderful, but challenging experience. I started volunteering purely for the reason of helping someone else, but the rewards I have received are tenfold. I realized that it is easy to take things forgranted, such as the ability to read, when for some people it is a big challenge. I feel grateful that I have the opportunity to work with this program.

Volunteering Opportunites Around Calgary...

Calgary Public Library:

• Computer Buddies
• Homework Help

Boys and Girls Club
Mustard Seed Calgary

flickr: BOOKS Redux by Ian Muttoo