Advertising of Women

Do You Know What it Feels Like for a Girl?

When I look at magazines and watch TV I feel as if negative images of women are everywhere. It is hard for me as a women not to feel like I have to look like a super model on the Victoria Secret Fashion show or someone won’t love me.

In the past couple months I have decided to take a more "feminist" approach in my life and educate the girls I coach basketball too as well as my little sister on what it is to be beautiful. Reading the magazine“BITCH” has for sure made a positive impact on how I view myself as a woman. I would recommend anyone to read this magazine, NOT just women. 

Another eye opening experience was watching Jean Kilbourne’s Killing Us Softly-Advertising Images of Women. These short films help society understand that advertising has destroyed the view of what a woman should really look like and be like. Typically it is a tall, size zero, blonde, who is young, and completely stunning. This look is attainable only by 1% of the population so why is it that so many women strive to look like this? 

I have conversations with my 16-year-old sister on a regular basis about how beautiful she is. Her comments are generic and appalling:

-       I am not as skinny as some girls

-       I am not as pretty

-       I need to wear more of these kind of clothes

-       I need to wear more makeup

She has only just realized lately that she is a beautiful person. The effects that these images have on women though have been extremely harmful. I, like most women, have battled with how I look and I am only now somewhat confident in my own skin. As Christina Aguilera would say, “You are Beautiful in Every Single Way.”

Personal Development... Negative?

When I think of the term “Personal Development” I think of positive change. Typically, I would assume people would relate that term with improvements in life. The definition of development is: “the act or process of developing; growth; progress.” These words to me sound very positive and so my perception of personal development being a positive aspect in your life seems to be appropriate.

While this is true, a lot of times I feel like when people are in need they turn to professional books in hopes of finding the answer. It is so much easier trying to search for an answer in a book rather than coming up with your own answer.

With that in mind, The Positivity Blog makes an interesting point in saying that personal development information could turn into a number of problems for someone. The author points out five ways that it can be a negative thing to rely on.  

Firstly, the author writes it can overcomplicate stuff. He writes how given a problem a person will read through books and try to solve it only creating the problem into something much more complicated than it has to be. I can completely relate to this idea. There have been many incidents when I feel a sense of low self-esteem/confidence and look to either help books or articles online. At times I took the information and created situation that was far greater than my original problem.

His second point is that it can get you emotionally hooked on reading more. He says instead of doing something you will continue to read more and more and perhaps feel satisfaction by simply just reading how to improve your life. This makes perfect sense since it is so much easier to read information than to put it into action. Just like the saying “it’s easier said than done.” Reading the information is one thing but actually using that within your life can be somewhat of a struggle.

After that he writes that the information can leave you confused. The author makes an excellent point in saying that especially in today’s society we have so much information to choose from and with so much information come so many perspectives. If I am looking for an answer or source of help, I could relate to reading a bunch of different articles with different perspectives and becoming even more frustrated with my problem than I was at the beginning. It’s always good to have various perspectives, but it is hard to make a concrete decision when you don’t know which one you should choose.

Fourthly he mentions the information could make you feel like you aren’t ready or not good enough. The author says how after reading all the information you may decide that you aren’t good enough and that nothing is worth putting the action to it. I feel like this is one of the most dangerous problems. In a way, it coins in with the author’s first point in that you overcomplicate things. By giving yourself a mindset like this you could hold yourself back from doing anything or some may even do something stupid, something that could hold regret.

Lastly, the author makes a great point in saying it makes you thing everything including yourself will end up perfect. He writes how people forget it’s about self-improvement: something gradual and instead try to make a quick simple solution. I am guilty of this very thing. I want to read a book or an article when I have a problem and immediately see the results and never have to worry again. That isn’t possible since we are experiencing life everyday and seeing new changes and learning new things.

So in the end while personal development is a positive thing that all people seek in life, you need to be careful if you ever come across a book or article and make sure you understand that there is no simple quick fix to life and that while you should be critical, you shouldn’t expand that criticism into something complicated. 

How to write Goals

Goals 

 

As soon as we can read and write were are expected to make goals for ourselves. One of my main goals as a child was to be the first girl in the NBA. As you may have noticed I did not make it to the NBA nor did I even make it close but at least I set that goal for myself. I did play a couple years of Canadian college basketball which although is not NBA it is still fairly impressive. Writing goals can be challenging especially without help. The first time I sat down to write my goals they were a mess and made no sense whatsoever. After being goal coached at work I have learned to write realistic and attainable goals and this is how I did it.

1. Replace “I want to…” with “I WILL…”

Replacing one word in the process of making goals can make all the difference. I have learned that you are more accountable for your goals if you say you will do it rather than you want to do it.

 

2. Make attainable goals that can be measured and that are specific

An example of this would be, “I will run a half-marathon” instead of “I will run”

 

3. Give yourself a By When

When are you going to complete your goal by? Make it reasonable like by April 2013 I will have completed my undergraduate degree at MRU.

4. Write them in 1 Year, 5 Year and 10 Year Goals

What are your 1 year goals that you will complete by next year. What about your 5 year goals? Then your 10 year?

5.  Keep them to yourself

This was hard for me to understand at first because when you are making goals you want people to know what they are so that they hold you accountable to complete them.  That I have found is untrue. Once I tell someone that, “I will be going to the gym 5 times I week,” I was less likely to go. 

 6. They need to be SMART

The acronym SMART stands for:
Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Timed. 

I find now that if I don’t make goals for myself I will not complete things. The goals I have made for myself in the last year have all be attained and I contribute that to the success and choices of my goals.  Goals can really take someone from being good and what they do in life to being GREAT!

The Act of Forgivness

The driver who cut you off in traffic or the friend who was late for the umpteenth time can bring about feelings of anger. Now anger is a tricky emotion. It can be the reaction to an underlying emotion such as fear, hurt, or pain.

By dissecting your anger and getting to the primary emotion you can generally figure out why you felt so mad. This is an interesting way to look at anger. The fact that your friend is late all the time could make you angry because it hurt your feelings and the careless driver might have caused you to feel fear.

I think that the expression of anger has become a more acceptable reaction in situations than the expression of a weaker emotion, such as fear.  The problem with anger is that it can cause resentments and grudges. It might not be in situations like the ones I have alluded to but possibly in more serious and personal situations.

A person has to be careful with anger because it can start to crop up in other areas of their life. It takes more energy for a person to be angry and hold a grudge than it does for the person they are directing their anger at. The ability to forgive frees a person from the hold that resentment can have over them.  

Mayo Clinic includes letting go of resentments and grudges as part of its adult health information. Oprah states that forgiveness actually improves your health and well being. A person lets go of resentments by forgiving. Forgiveness is the act of letting go of the negative emotions connected to a hurtful or harmful action.

At times in my own life I have felt a lot of anger towards a person, place, or situation. I have noticed that while I am sitting their obsessing and stewing over my feelings of rage I am taking time out of my own life and being selfish. My resentments are deterring me from functioning in a healthy way while the person on the other end of my anger usually isn’t affected. I also have to remember the Golden Rule, ‘do unto others as you would have them do unto you’. If I hope to be forgiven when I am wrong, shouldn’t I extend that service to others?

In conclusion, I believe that forgiveness is freeing and helps a person to grow. Forgiving is not always easy, but it doesn’t mean that you have to forget. In a way forgiveness is just as much about helping you as it is about the other person.  

Manifesto

Manifestos

Manifesto is a public, usually written announcement of policies and intentions, especially by a political party. The manifestos that I have chosen to share and that have impacted my life have nothing to do with any political party. They are more of statement and they are the way I choose to live my life, or at least attempt to live it in that way.

 

lululemon athletica Manifesto 

This manifesto is the base of the lululemon empire. It is a reminder to people who work there as well as people who shop there that they should be living by this manifesto.  This manifesto is completely inspiring. It is located throughout their stores as well as on the reusable bags that go home with each shopper. This Canadian company has done extremely well and they contribute a huge amount of their success to this manifesto that they live by.

There is a lot of truth in the lululemon manifesto as well as many things that I  have started to apply to my life.

“Stress contributes to 99% of illness”

In the last  year I have decreased my stress level and instead of being sick 5 times a year I have only been sick once this year.

“Sweat once a day”

This is another huge part of the lulu culture and this is part of the feeling good and being healthy.

 "This is Your Life" Manifesto

I love inspirational sayings and I find that I now live by this one image that was posted on my friends Facebook a few years ago.

It is simple and to the point but it has made such an impact on my life that I have it hung up in my room, on my notebooks, even on the background of my computer. It is the manifesto that I have been trying to live by. This manifesto has changed the way I live my life in such a positive way. “Life is Short” is the final part of this manifesto and although that may be an extreme cliché it is incredibly true. This manifesto has been the most inspirational to me and I just wish I had found it a few years before I did. 

 

My Manifesto

Its simple. 

Be Brave. Be Inspirational. Be You.

It has taken me a long time to just be myself and to love me for me. Sometimes its hard to even know who you are. Once you do though always be yourself.  A manifesto is supposed to have your values and its supposed to be strong and bold and I think this embodies it all. I did go to a website that was helpful in deciding "How to Write a Manifesto."

I think everyone should have manifesto that they live by. Something that they wake up in the morning, look at, and say I am going to do that today.

How I Have Personally Developed Myself

How I Have Personally Developed Myself:

A couple years ago I started working for a company that prides itself on developing its employees.  I had no idea about personal development nor did I care to really explore the options in which I had been given to personally develop myself. I had never picked up a self-help book and I never viewed my life as something that needed help or that I needed to change my life.  I don’t necessarily think that there was anything wrong with my life when I started on my path of personal development. I do think that I have since become a better more rounded person and I contribute that to the steps I have taken with my own personal development.

After a few months I decided to read one of the books that were chosen by my work to help with personal development. It was called the Happiness Project. Much to my surprise this book was not lame like I thought it was going to be but enlightening. Just the tid bits of advice that I received from the book would help me in my life as well as in my job.

Here are a few keynotes that I took from the book:

“One of the best ways to make yourself happy is to make other people happy. One of the best ways to make other people happy is to be happy yourself.”

"You can do anything you want, but you can’t do everything you want. This insight is remarkably similarly to the one I had a couple of years ago, when I realized that I can buy anything I want, but can’t buy everything I want."

It was this book that really helped me take a step forward in the right direction for my personal development. I would suggest that anyone who wants to be even a little bit happier in their life they should read this book. 

Another journey that I went on for my own personal development was attending what is called “The Landmark Forum”. This is a perk that the company I work for provides and one that helped me out a lot in my life. The forum is only three and a half days but it was the hardest three and a half days of my life mentally. I spent from 8am till 9pm in a room with a bunch of people I did not know telling me their life story. It was incredibly awkward but also extremely incredible that people could share their deepest secrets with a stranger. By people sharing their stories they helped not only themselves to grow but also everyone around them was able to grow as well. It is hard to explain what happened throughout the forum but by completing it I was able to bring what I learned and apply it to my personal life as well as work. 

The next step I have taken in my personal development is to read another book called “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People”. 

The 7 habits are as followed:

Habit 1: Be proactive

Habit 2: Begin with the End in Mind

Habit 3: Put first Things First

Habit 4: Think Win-Win

Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood

Habit 6: Synergize

Habit 7: Sharpen the Saw 

The Seven Habits Paradigm is something that is both interesting as well as a really helpful visual on how these habits will help me improve my personal as well as my professional problems. 

I have only just begun to read this book but I do think that this book will really help with my personal development and growth. I will keep everyone posted! 

A Vision for the Future

Goal setting is a positive and practical way to focus your ideas and hopes for the future. It can help create a drive to accomplish the things you want in life. I am a big advocate of goal setting. Taking the time to sit down and figure out what‘s important in your life and determining the things that you want is a helpful habit to get into.

Whether it’s writing a list of short term and long term goals or reading a book on obtaining the things you want in life, the action taken to contribute to your life’s progression will be beneficial. I know that I can think about doing, wanting, and accomplishing many things, but realistically if I don’t take the time to sort out the attainable from the unattainable and figure out a plan of action I won’t get where I want to go.

I have a friend who believes in the law of attraction. She believes that anything that she mentally gives attention to, whether positive or negative, will come into her life. The idea stems from the book 'The Secret'.I am not sure if I believe in the law of attraction, but my friend did give me an idea for setting goals which is connected to this law. The project she told me about is called a vision board.

A vision board is a visual compilation of all the things you want to do, have and be in your life. You start off with a cork board, pinning up pictures that represent where you see yourself in a set amount of time. The pictures can represent a future job, living situation, your personal wellbeing, or relationship status. These are just a few examples. The board is a visual pathway to your desired state. The idea is that by seeing and thinking about your goals you are unintentionally focusing on how to reach them.

A year ago I made a vision board. I put up images of all the things that I wanted to achieve in a year. At the time I wasn’t sure if it was possible, but I thought I would give it a shot. Today I have achieved all of the goals I put on that board. I don’t know if it was the law of attraction at work, but I do believe that by owning my goals and focusing on the things I want for my life I was able to muster up the drive to go and achieve them.   

Working Out!

This fall was my first semester of university and after years of empty promises to myself I finally became motivated enough to start working out on a regular basis.  It definitely wasn’t easy and at first, and when I started my new workout regime in September I would miss a couple days a week and sometimes even I would miss a whole week.

By the time December rolled around, I was pretty consistent with my workouts and it was rare for me to miss a day of working out. My hour a day of working out really helped me control my stress and frustration throughout the semester. Although I did have a consistent schedule of working out, I didn’t really push myself and the results I wanted weren’t coming as quick as I had hoped they would.

Starting my second semester of university, I reconnected with a friend of a friend and we got to talking and soon realized we shared the same goals in getting more fit. It was because of our shared goals we decided to make a new workout schedule together.

I’ve attempted many times to work out with people in the past and it never worked out. If one person was busy, that was the other’s excuse to skip the gym or we would go to the gym together and just goof around instead of getting anything accomplished. So, naturally I was skeptical if this new gym buddy would work out (no pun intended).

It ended up that we motivated each other quite a lot fitness-wise. By the end of January my gym buddy, Alexandra, helped me push myself more so I could see more results faster.

Eventually, we decided that only working out wasn’t cutting it. So we got together, cut out a bunch of magazines and created our own “Dream Board” http://christinekane.com/how-to-make-a-vision-board/ which is basically a visual representation of your long-term goals. In the months of February through April we cut out our bad eating habits, eating healthier and started seeing results right away.

Now that we aren’t in classes together like we had been in the previous semester, we aren’t able to workout together, but with each other’s motivation we still keep up a fairly regular workout schedule individually and try to keep up our good eating habits. 

In the end, I have noticed a huge change in myself motivation-wise and of course health-wise. A lot of this personal development that I have established would not have been as immense if I had not found the support in my friend, Alexandra.

On a side note, I have to say it feels great not being one of those freshmen that gained the infamous “Freshman 15.” I would definitely encourage those of you who are trying to get into a healthier lifestyle to talk with friends and attempt to find someone with the same goals as yourself. Or even, any goal in life you want to accomplish, finding someone with similar goals makes achieving those goals so much easier. 

Personal Development and Family

Your Personal Development Expert defines personal development as “the process of making yourself more valuable.” Within a family, how can one determine whether they hold value or not?

The dictionary explains that value is about relative worth, merit, or importance. If value is defined as relative, than to every person, personal development of course means something different.

In order to achieve personal development specifically within family, a person would need to consider what they think is most important in a family.  To me, the most important aspects within a family would be: communication, respect, and responsibility. I feel like once I have attained these three aspects fully within my family I will be able to continue in life as well as start my own family, teaching them what I have learned myself.

University of Delaware highlights four problems that get in the way of communication: assuming others you know other’s thoughts or they know yours, focusing on our own thoughts while another is talking and not listening to them, bringing up new problems not related to the current situation, and finally assuming you know what is right for others. I do feel like communication is one of my stronger aspects but I feel so comfortable in my family that there are times I often forget to really listen. It’s hard to listen to people who are so close to you because of course you know them so well so you assume you know their every thought. In my opinion, I feel like everyone in the family should take a break in their busy schedule, spending some quality time with each other and making sure everyone is on the same track. In my journey of personal development, I will try to do this with my family more often and not take for granted the fact that I have a loving family who is always there for me through good and bad times.

University of Illinois pointed out that in order for there to be respect there needs to communication as well. This makes sense because if you are not listening to what your family member is telling you then how can you say you are fully respecting them and their needs? Respect is an extremely important aspect in any relationship, especially family. It is a rare case in which respect is lacking in a family and in my family I believe we all do respect each other. So of course, while I do respect each and every one in my family I need to make a conscious effort that I am truly listening to what they are all saying and feeling so I can respect those needs.

I also believe that in a family it is important that everyone holds responsibility for themselves, for each other, and of course for the home. This is probably where I need to develop the most. As I still live with my parents, I depend on them heavily and don’t take up much of the responsibility in the home nor for my family members.

Family is where are your personal development really shows through, and on the most part is taught by your parents. I would encourage every young adult, especially those still living at home, to reflect on what they think is most important to have in a family and these values will help you into becoming a greater person in the end.