The Act of Forgivness

The driver who cut you off in traffic or the friend who was late for the umpteenth time can bring about feelings of anger. Now anger is a tricky emotion. It can be the reaction to an underlying emotion such as fear, hurt, or pain.

By dissecting your anger and getting to the primary emotion you can generally figure out why you felt so mad. This is an interesting way to look at anger. The fact that your friend is late all the time could make you angry because it hurt your feelings and the careless driver might have caused you to feel fear.

I think that the expression of anger has become a more acceptable reaction in situations than the expression of a weaker emotion, such as fear.  The problem with anger is that it can cause resentments and grudges. It might not be in situations like the ones I have alluded to but possibly in more serious and personal situations.

A person has to be careful with anger because it can start to crop up in other areas of their life. It takes more energy for a person to be angry and hold a grudge than it does for the person they are directing their anger at. The ability to forgive frees a person from the hold that resentment can have over them.  

Mayo Clinic includes letting go of resentments and grudges as part of its adult health information. Oprah states that forgiveness actually improves your health and well being. A person lets go of resentments by forgiving. Forgiveness is the act of letting go of the negative emotions connected to a hurtful or harmful action.

At times in my own life I have felt a lot of anger towards a person, place, or situation. I have noticed that while I am sitting their obsessing and stewing over my feelings of rage I am taking time out of my own life and being selfish. My resentments are deterring me from functioning in a healthy way while the person on the other end of my anger usually isn’t affected. I also have to remember the Golden Rule, ‘do unto others as you would have them do unto you’. If I hope to be forgiven when I am wrong, shouldn’t I extend that service to others?

In conclusion, I believe that forgiveness is freeing and helps a person to grow. Forgiving is not always easy, but it doesn’t mean that you have to forget. In a way forgiveness is just as much about helping you as it is about the other person.